


If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I'd Put "U" and "I" Together

by salixbabylon



Category: Real Person Fiction, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-22
Updated: 2009-05-24
Packaged: 2019-09-30 01:57:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 18,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salixbabylon/pseuds/salixbabylon
Summary: Jared and Jensen take a romp through the alphabet, teasing each other relentlessly all the way.  AKA domestic schmoop, guy-style.





	1. A is for Angel, from aelfwitchfic

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks go out to everyone who contributed word prompts – [](http://aelfwitchfic.livejournal.com/profile)[aelfwitchfic](http://aelfwitchfic.livejournal.com/), [](http://okinay.livejournal.com/profile)[okinay](http://okinay.livejournal.com/), [](http://tularia.livejournal.com/profile)[tularia](http://tularia.livejournal.com/), [](http://sarka.livejournal.com/profile)[sarka](http://sarka.livejournal.com/), [](http://anorienparker.livejournal.com/profile)[anorienparker](http://anorienparker.livejournal.com/), [](http://violetlemon47.livejournal.com/profile)[violetlemon47](http://violetlemon47.livejournal.com/), [](http://gigglingkat.livejournal.com/profile)[gigglingkat](http://gigglingkat.livejournal.com/), [](http://baileymoyes.livejournal.com/profile)[baileymoyes](http://baileymoyes.livejournal.com/), [](http://griffndor.livejournal.com/profile)[griffndor](http://griffndor.livejournal.com/), [](http://autumn-witch78.livejournal.com/profile)[autumn_witch78](http://autumn-witch78.livejournal.com/), and [](http://seanlily.livejournal.com/profile)[seanlily](http://seanlily.livejournal.com/). And of course to [](http://sarka.livejournal.com/profile)[sarka](http://sarka.livejournal.com/) for her writing help and betaing.

The first snowfall of the year, without fail, Jared would act like a little kid. Predictable, true, but what wasn't was that Jensen was _also_ like a kid about the first snow, albeit a slightly older kid, initially reluctant to let go of his coolness and just have fun.

Usually one snowball to the face was all it took to get Jensen over the grown-up-and-cool thing and have him pelting Jared with snow, swearing and laughing and shrieking threats of lasting revenge. Playing.

Jared was the one who introduced Jensen to snow forts and snow slushies and snow angels.

"Seriously? You're going to lie down in the snow and get completely fucking soaking wet, to make a _snow angel_?"

Jared grinned. "Nope." He gave Jensen a firm shove using all of his upper-body weight, knocking his best friend down into the soft white powder. " _We_ are."

Jensen grumbled and flailed, trying to get up, held down by a huge foot on his sternum. "I am not making a goddamned snow angel, asshole."

"You're already wet. Might as well do it, since you're down there and all," Jared pointed out, trying not to laugh.

With a requisite eye-roll and a belly-deep sigh, Jensen obligingly spread his arms and legs and scraped the snow aside.

"Sure you've never done this before?" Jared asked with his own brow-raise. "You're pretty good at it."

"It's not rocket science," Jensen grumbled.

He scooted a little, preparing to get up, then shot out his leg and hooked it around Jared's, tipping him over into the snow. Jared landed with a yelp and a _whoomp_ , face first.

"Dick."

It was muffled and a bit pained, but Jensen could hear the smile in it anyway.


	2. B is for Bat, from aelfwitchfic

"They always ask what we're afraid of, like we're going to says 'ghosts' or 'werewolves' or something stupid from the show. Reporters suck," Jensen bitched one night as he flipped channels, finally stopping on ESPN.

"Yeah, but seriously, there has to be some stupid little thing you're afraid of. Like snakes. Or spiders. You know," Jared shrugged, coming back from the kitchen with another four bottles of beer in his hands, only slightly unsteady on his feet.

Jensen took two bottles from him, opened one, and downed about a quarter of it. "Not really."

"Sharks maybe? They have too many teeth. They kind of weird me out," Jared offered, thinking out loud.

"Pussy."

"Fuck off. I'm not scared of them. They're just... gigantic, prehistoric eating machines. They never evolved because they didn't _have_ to. They just eat. They're good at it." He made an expression of distaste.

"You're totally scared of sharks. Man, I'm going to give you shit about this forever. I love it when you drink too much. It's like Christmas, the way you just give me ammo," Jensen teased.

Jared stuck his tongue out. "Hm. How about... Birds? I had a cousin who was afraid of crows. Think he saw Hitchcock's _The Birds_ when he was little," he shrugged.

Jensen gave him a look. "I am not afraid of birds."

"No wait, I'm remembering something. You totally flinched this one time when we were out shooting. It was late... Warmish... Just getting dark..." Jared paused, thinking as he killed another bottle. "Bats! You flinched at some bats that were, like, a mile away! You're scared of BATS!"

"I am _not_ afraid of bats.

Jared gave him BitchFace #6 (the variant that was amused and having too much trouble not smiling to be a very effective pout).

With a sigh of defeat Jensen closed his eyes. "They're just..." he flapped his hands. "Like little rats. With wings. And rabies. They're... _icky_."

Snorting into his beer, Jared knocked his shoulder into Jensen, shoving him into the arm of the couch. "Dude, you said 'icky.' Like a little girl."

"Fuck off," he sighed. "Sharks, okay?"

Jared nodded. "And bats."

"Whatever. You won't even remember this in the morning, you lightweight," Jensen said, shaking his head.

Jared just nodded and chuckled, leaning against Jensen's shoulder. His eyes slowly closed, a smile still pulling at his lips, as they both leaned into each other and dozed off to the sounds of the television and dogs snoring.


	3. C is for Candle Wax, from okinay

Jensen had looked in Jared's bedroom, bathroom, the back yard, the kitchen, and the home gym before he found him standing silently in the dining room, a fancy stained-glass type candle in his hand. Not moving, not speaking, but breathing audibly, like it was more difficult than it should be.

"Jay?"

Jared blinked, startled out of wherever his thoughts had been, and turned to face his friend. "Yeah?"

"You, um. I wanted to know if you'd fed the dogs this morning or not." Jensen gave his friend a searching look. "Harley says no, but Sadie doesn't seem hungry and I know Harley lies."

After a deep exhalation, Jared put the candle down and nodded his head. "Yeah, I fed them."

That seemed to be all that was coming and Jensen lingered in the doorway, uncertain. "Good. So, uh, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Jared shrugged. "It's just. We never eat in here; been too busy. And I kind of thought we should sometimes have, like, dinner parties or something, maybe? But then I came in here and it's all stuff Sandy picked out. We went to Pottery Barn and she was so excited talking about table cloths and placemats and napkins and what kind of colors I liked and stuff. I was bored out of my fucking mind, so I wandered off and picked out this candle."

Jensen really had no idea what the appropriate response was. "It's a nice candle," he offered.

Jared nodded, looking at it. "So she picked out all this stuff that was the same colors as the candle. And napkin rings that sort of go with it, see?"

Jensen looked at the table and nodded.

"And it's all... Hers." Jared's voice caught in his throat a little bit. "It was supposed to be _ours_. She was so excited choosing it all, talking about dinner parties and holiday meals and. Well," he swallowed.

"Yeah," Jensen said, trying to project as much sympathy as humanly possible without actually going over and giving Jared a hug. Yet.

"And it's not like, I don't know, like I _regret_ that it ended. It just did. And I'm fine, really," he said, making eye contact as they both shared the memory of the months right after the breakup, too much liquor and manly tears they'd never talk about. "I am, I'm fine. It's just... sad, you know? What might have been."

"Yeah, I know. I mean, kind of," Jensen said, since obviously he'd never been engaged. "I'm sorry, man."

"Me too. We only ate in here once. There's still wax on the table cloth-thingy that we didn't clean up. I don't know what to do," he admitted in a small voice.

"What, to get the wax out?"

Jared snorted, which was Jensen's goal. "No dickface, about the room. Get rid of the stuff? Send it to Sandy? Just keep using it until it feels like it's mine, instead of ours? I don't know."

Jensen looked around. "It _does_ look nice. But it's totally not you," he smirked. Jared flipped him off. "I think you should get rid of it and go buy your own stuff. Call Sandy and see if she wants it. If not, donate it or something."

Jared picked up the candle again, fiddling with the wick. "Will you come shopping with me?"

Slinging his arm around Jared's waist, Jensen grinned. "Only if you propose first, darlin.'"

"Jackass."

"You love it."

Shaking his head as he smiled, Jared gave him a slight shove and went to go get his keys.


	4. D is for Doggies, from tularia

Dogs are opportunistic creatures. They will take as much as they can get of food, petting, games, walks, and love. If you give them a treat or accidentally drop food while you are eating, they will show up at every meal and snack, hoping for it to happen again. They have time; they weren't busy doing anything else. They live in hope.

If given a blanket, a dog will try to sleep on any blanket-like surface, especially a bed. If let up once for snuggles, they will assume they are allowed up all the time. If they're shut out of the bedroom, they'll sleep on the sofa. If there's a barrier on the sofa, all the bedroom doors are shut, and they can't knock off the barrier or nudge the doors open with their noses, they will, with great reluctance and heartfelt sighs at how awful the world is, deign to sleep on their expensive dog beds.

Dogs really _do_ prefer individually-wrapped coil springs and pillow-top mattresses. A down comforter is also nice, since it smells like defeated game birds. In Doggie Heaven the clouds are made of down comforters.

Harley and Sadie were no different. Sure, Jared tried to train them to behave properly, to know who was Alpha and who was Beta, to stay off the furniture, to not snuffle crotches, and not to take food off the coffee table. Mostly they were pretty good.

Harley was a big old slut – his favorite person in the universe was the one who was currently petting him or giving him illicit snacks. He and his master shared the same general enthusiasm for life, seeming to wake up almost every day thrilled beyond belief that the sun had come up and there was a whole new day of walks and food and playing and snoozing in the sun to look forward to.

Sadie was a little more hesitant, having decided to let the bouncy big dork she lived with charge on ahead and get into trouble first. And also sniff out the people who had yummies in their pockets and identify the ones who shoved away slobbery dogs but would willingly pet a polite, pretty girl for hours. She might be smaller than the three males she lived with, but she was the bitch of the house and knew how to get what she wanted.

The two dogs had their own beds, in the corner near the heat vent of Jared's bedroom. They were clearly inferior to the big bed, but there just wasn't room for everyone in the pack when Sandy stayed over, particularly if the two humans started dominance wrestling. (There were never any puppies, so clearly if they were trying to mate, they were doing it wrong.) Sadie was amazed that they kept having to prove who was dominant: Sandy made sharp, high-pitched noises but she was usually the one on top, and Jared's falling asleep immediately after was _definitely_ a sign of submission.

Both dogs were kind of glad when Sandy stopped coming over, because Jared was supposed to be Alpha and it wasn't good for pack morale that he kept getting dominated by a visiting bitch, even if she was generous with the petting. Anyway, the big bed was pretty much off-limits when Sandy was there, aside from a few cuddles right before bedtime, so it was a triumph for the dogs when she didn't come over any more and Jared started letting them sleep on her side of the bed regularly. He seemed sad for some reason, especially when all of the Sandy-smelling things were taken out of the house, but the dogs did their best to reassure him that the pack was all right and that they were there for him.

And not too long after that, things that smelled like Jensen moved into the house, which was _awesome_ because Jensen was really good with the ear scratches. Also, once there were at least four bottles on the coffee table, he was pretty messy with the chips and snacks and needed Harley and Sadie to help him clean up – "doggie vacuums" he called them, laughing.

Once Jared's bed no longer smelled like Sandy, the dogs were encouraged to go back to their own beds a little more often, which sucked. Then again, Jared thrashed around a lot and it was no fun getting kicked in the ribs or head, no matter how much of an accident it was. Harley had greater tolerance for it than Sadie; she usually got off the bed with a hugely disappointed sigh and sought out other, more restful accommodations after being awoken so rudely.

The sofa downstairs was rather nice, but Jensen almost never shut his door firmly enough that it couldn't be nudged open, so Sadie quickly found a replacement place to sleep. One _without_ a human who kicked; Jensen was very well behaved in bed. Jensen had been a part of the extended pack for a long time, but once he became a full-time member, his bed became Sadie's favorite place at night. Sure, when he awoke he made scolding clicks with his tongue and pretended to be annoyed, but his eyes said he was happy to see her and he cuddled up next to her in his sleep, so she knew she was welcome.

Every now and then Harley would join them, too, which was nice, but Jensen's bed was smaller than Jared's and the three of them didn't fit quite as well. Plus, their Alpha wasn't there in the puppy pile and that didn't seem fair. What would be best, Sadie and Harley thought, would be if all four of them were in the Alpha bed.

Unfortunately, Jared and Jensen didn't share beds the way Jared and Sandy had, although they _did_ wrestle for dominance on the floor a lot, and the sofa, and they sometimes napped together there, too, whether they smelled like beer or not. The humans were taking a long time to figure out the dominance-thing, but it smelled like they were going to end up in the nice big bed together, soon, which was as it should be. People were really slow at figuring things out sometimes, though, so Sadie and Harley tried to be patient.

All and all, it was a pretty good deal, the dogs thought. There was an extra bed in the house for Jensen and Sadie, and Harley could sleep with Jared and endure his kicking and farting. _Jensen_ knew how to treat a girl.

And their pack was happy again.


	5. E is for Exercise, from sarka

"I hate you," Jensen gasped, bending over with one hand on a thigh and the other grabbing the stitch in his side.

Jared grinned. "I know you do, Jen, but it's not my fault you can't keep up with me."

Jensen groaned pathetically. "Your legs are just fucking unnaturally long. It's not fair."

"Oh, boo hoo," Jared teased. "Life's not fair. It's not fair that I'm taller that you, that I've got way more defined abs than you, that I have an awesome house, that the dogs love me best-"

"Not Sadie," Jensen corrected.

"-or that according to Chad the fangirls almost always make _you_ bottom when we have hot buttsex."

Jensen groaned again. "Seriously, as soon as I get my breath back, I'm calling Chris and getting him to help me put out a hit out on Chad."

Jared cackled. "Come on man, my muscles are stiffening up. We've got another couple of miles to go.

"God," Jensen whined as he straightened up, back creaking.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch. You're the one who said you wanted to start exercising seriously. Not my problem if you can't keep up with me."

Jensen scowled at him as they started off again. "I can keep up with you fine, asshole."

"Yeah, and you're doing so well at demonstrating the truth of that statement," Jared taunted.

Jensen put on another burst of speed, attempting to stay abreast of his friend and his ridiculous legs. After about half a block, though, he was forced to drop back so his muscles didn't go into oxygen deprivation.

"God damn. It's not like I don't exercise," he complained.

"Your habits are not as mighty as mine," Jared offered so helpfully. "It's understandable. You _are_ in your thirties."

Jensen reached out an arm to shove Jared but barely jostled him at all. "Decrepitude hasn't set in quite yet," he protested.

Jared nodded soberly. "Jen, the first step is acceptance. I'll be here for you when you're ready to admit that you're old."

Jensen slowed down to make a face at him.

"Do you need me to carry you back home?"

Stopping, Jensen looked up at Jared's utterly sincere expression and the humor dancing in his eyes. He glanced down the street at the few blocks they still were from home, at the sky which was still barely light, at the lack of traffic on the streets this early and nodded. "Hell yeah. Give me a piggyback ride, Sasquatch."

Jared's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Hey, you offered. I'm old; I don't think I can make it by myself."

"Jen!"

"Oh come on, what, am I too heavy for you now? Mr. Universe can't carry my frail elderly body? I ain't fat, you know," Jensen smirked.

"No, but... Of course not, you're pretty much all muscle, it's just... gotten a little soft."

"Yeah, well, it's too jello-like to run any more, so bend over and let me up, pony boy," Jensen demanded.

With a somewhat stunned look on his face, Jared bent and braced his arms on his thighs. Jensen climbed on top, and kicked Jared lightly with his heel, saying "Giddy-up" and cackling.

His hands wrapped firmly around Jared's shoulders as he complained about the jostling gait of his steed. His breath tickled Jared's ear only somewhat accidentally.

Jared hoisted him up higher. "God, you weight a fucking ton."

"Faster, faster, little horsie," Jensen ordered. "You're lucky I don't have a crop."

Jared groaned as they finally approached the house. "I take it back; you're not frail. You are a manly, manly man."

"Damn right. _And_ I'm on top. Where are the paparazzi when you need them? I want Chad to see this."

Jared dropped him onto the front lawn as they both laughed in the morning light.


	6. F is for Forest, from anorienparker

"Shit!"

Jared sat down on a log, brushing his hands over his knees, and gave his friend a disgruntled look. "That's right, Jensen. Throw a tantrum. That'll help."

"Shut up, asshole. You're the one who fucking got us lost!"

"I didn't get us lost. I just got us a little... turned around."

"And how is that different from getting lost?" Jensen ranted. "I feel like Hansel and Gretel, without the trail of fucking breadcrumbs."

"Or your lederhosen outfit."

Jensen gave him a death glare that immediately made Jared drop the subject; now was apparently _not_ the time to be joking about codpieces and knee socks.

"Well, we could try again," he offered.

"No," Jensen said. "We will _not_ try again. Trying again has simply gotten us so turned around that neither of us has any idea which way we originally came from, or which of any of these sort-of-maybe paths is actually a deer path versus a real _human_ path that will take us back to the road. Goddamnit! Everything's going to get fucked up and delayed and it's all _your_ fault for wanting to go for a stroll in the woods!"

Jared took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to not get angry. "No one exactly forced you come with me, Jen."

Jensen stared hard at a tree for a second, then let out a breath of his own, shaking his head, and sat down next to his friend. "No, you're right. You didn't make me come with you; I wanted to come."

Jared nodded. Jensen nodded. Jared nudged him with his shoulder. Jensen nudged back.

"So, now that you're done with the drama-queen act, what are we going to do?" Jared asked.

"Well," Jensen said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. "We don't have any reception at all, but we could try texting and hope for the best. I'll send one to the AD, you send one to Jim."

"Good, good," Jared nodded, pulling out his own cell. "Um, where do we tell them we are?"

"It's only been about an hour, so it's probably another half-hour until someone comes banging on our trailer doors looking for us. And a bit after that before they realize that no one has seen us and they send out a search party." He bit his lip, thinking, and frowned.

"Great," Jared sighed. "Well, we weren't walking all that long."

"No, and we probably circled around plenty, too. Best-case scenario, we're not all that far from the road. Worst-case, we're in the middle of fucking nowhere and no one can get a hold of us."

"At least it's a couple of hours before it starts to get dark," Jared offered. "And we're dressed warmly. But we have no food. Or water." He pouted. "I'm hungry."

Jensen patted him on the knee. "There, there."

"I'm not feeling very comforted, Jen."

"Well, I'm not feeling very _comfortable_ , Jared."

"Point taken. So... Let's do the texts. Where do we say we are?"

"I don't know! On a log covered with moss, next to a tree that sort of looks like a ladder and a big rock that kind of looks like a half-moon? Yeah, that'll help."

"Do you hear any water?" Jared asked. "Are we near a river or stream or anything? And what kind of tree is that?"

Jensen gave him a look. "A green one?"

"Oh man. We are so screwed. I thought you were all, like, nature-boy."

"I am, asshole. But only when I'm _prepared_ for it. I could make you a shelter, if you'd like. Or start a small fire. If I had, you know, a knife and some matches. Probably."

"Hey, a fire! Fire's good. It'll make smoke and they can follow the smoke! It's genius!"

Jensen gave him a look. "Yeah, that's a great idea. Let's start a huge bonfire so they can find us. It'll really help once all the trees catch and we start a forest fire. Of course, we'll have a little explaining to do to the forest rangers about why we started a fire in a protected area. Idiot."

Jared stuck out his tongue. "How about just a _little_ fire? Don't you have Dean's lighter?"

In silence, Jensen turned the idea over in his head for a while. He couldn't think of anything better. Reluctantly he admitted defeat and they managed to get a small, smoky fire going with a lot of moss and damp twigs. There wasn't much of a breeze, so the smoke actually _did_ go relatively straight up out of the clearing they were in, to Jensen's surprise.

"Did you hear that?" Jared asked about half an hour later.

"Dude, I'm tired of the fart jokes, okay?"

"No, asshole. I think someone's coming."

A moment later some of the bushes rustled and a guy who worked on lighting appeared. "Hey guys! Can I join your cook-out if I bring marshmallows and hot dogs?"

"Pete! Oh man, it's great to see you," Jensen grinned.

"We kind of figured only a bunch of pyromaniacs like you two would try sending smoke signals in the 21st century," Pete grinned.

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Jared said, trying to pout.

Pete laughed. "Well, at least you were here with each other, right?"

The two friends grinned at each other. Jared fluttered his eyelashes like a damsel in distress being rescued by her knight. "No one I'd rather be lost in the middle of a forest with," he told Jensen.

Jensen shook his head. "Next time you better remember the marshmallows, dork."


	7. G is for Guitar, from violetlemon47

It was all Guitar Hero's fault. The week had been really fucking long, as always, but today had been a half-day and Jared and Jensen both actually had tomorrow off. They'd ordered in dinner, eaten themselves comatose, killed a six-pack, and watched basketball until they'd digested enough to move again.

Jared suggested video games, Jensen had chosen Guitar Hero, and Jared was kicking his ass as usual. "I am a god at this game. You are a pathetic, half-dead mortal compared to me," he bragged as he made it to the next level.

Jen got a little pissed off, also as usual, although Jared thought he lacked his typical enthusiasm for the argument. It wasn't fair, Jensen whined, since he was the one who could actually, oh, _play a guitar_ , blah blah blah, ending with "It's a stupid game and takes no skill," as he thunked a now-empty bottle of beer down onto the coffee table.

In his ranting, his hands had caught Jared's attention. "Here; you're holding it all wrong, man. You're holding it like a guitar."

"Um. That's what it's supposed to be, moron."

"It's just a controller, _moron_ ; forget how it's shaped. No wonder you suck at this."

Jensen argued, which resulted in the guitar coming out and them wasting about half an hour doing a compare-and-contrast demonstration of hand positions. And Jared's face getting flushed.

His eyes focused on Jensen's hands and arms as if they were suddenly spot-lit or covered with sparkly glitter. How strong and confident they were, the way his fingers wrapped around the neck of the guitar, the tendons in his arm standing out as he made the chords. Shirt-sleeves pushed up. Muscles flexing.

It wasn't that Jared hadn't seen his buddy's arms before, or like he hadn't even seen him naked, so what the hell? Jensen was hot, yeah – so what? Jared tried to shake it off; he _was_ still kind of drunk...

Jen was a little tipsy too, having given up on the video game and got into playing some soothing melody, eyes mostly closed, an intense look on his face. He hummed to himself, just barely audibly to Jared, who found himself straining to listen for the quiet baritone as he watched.

The glazed look in Jared's eyes was _definitely_ drunk. And he felt hot too; beads of sweat starting to appear around his hairline as his breathing became more labored. He shifted his legs, glanced at his lap with a mumbled "Oh shit!" and excused himself to the bathroom.

Jared returned several minutes later even more flushed and sweaty, wearing a different t-shirt. He drained the last of the beer without looking at Jensen - or his arms - who'd stopped playing when Jared came back, his brow wrinkled in question.

"Just got a little overheated," he answered in a casual, lazy voice.

Jensen snorted. "They do say some girls start menopause early, Jay, but you might wanna see your gynecologist just in case."

"Asshole," Jared grinned, knocking Jensen half-heartedly with his shoulder. "Your playing just got me all hot and bothered, stud."

Jensen knocked him back, yawning. Jared kicked his feet up onto the coffee table, stretching out as Harley climbed up beside him on the sofa. Jensen carefully set his guitar aside, punched the cushions into a better shape and invited Sadie up to lie mostly in his lap. Jared dozed off to the memory of Jensen's music in his head, hand wrapped around Jensen's forearm, absently tracing the tendons in his sleep.


	8. H is for Hug, from gigglingkat

Jensen woke up on the sofa with Sadie on his lap, Harley wuffling in his sleep, Jared outright snoring, and a warm hand loose on his arm. Jared's head was heavy against his shoulder and the whole place smelled like sleep and home. Sadly, Jensen was getting a crick in his neck that warned of a Very Bad Day Tomorrow unless he moved somewhere more horizontal.

Something was a bit off, though. Waking up in a puppy pile wasn't all that unusual - although it did still make Jensen smirk every time Jared referred to the four of them as his "pack" - but Jared actively clinging to him, rather than just sprawled across him, was different.

Not bad. Just _different_.

Jared was clingy, of course. Any idiot could see that from a mile away; any closer than a mile and said idiot would get squeezed to death in a Sasquatch-hug that smelled like equal parts sour candy, fruity soap, and Jared-sweat. While Jared's concept of personal space wasn't actually as shaky as most people seemed to think, it was indeed pretty much nonexistent with his close friends and family, and Jensen was by now fairly used to having his person groped, grabbed, and otherwise hung onto by his friend.

But the hand on his arm? Different.

It wasn't a normal cuddle, which Lord knew Jensen had grown used to, both the variants that were simply being leaned against (in public) and being sprawled on top of (mostly limited to behind closed doors). There _was_ that one week when Jared had held Jensen's hand everywhere like they were eight-year-old girls and grinned like a loon at everyone, refusing to answer whether they were BFFs or engaged to be gay married or just being freaks like always.

That had been kind of fun actually, although Jensen pretty much refused to look too closely at _why_.

Anyway: sofa, crick, neck, bad, need to move growing more urgent. Jensen carefully untangled himself, petting Sadie in hopes of forgiveness for interrupting her sleep, and shook Jared's shoulder.

"Dude, wake up and go to bed. You're gonna be sorry tomorrow if you sleep like this all night."

Jared's face scrunched up, the hand that had been holding onto Jensen's arm flexing, then moving slowly up to rub at his nose. His eyes opened and he blinked blearily. "Mmh?"

"Bed. Time for bed, Jay. Come on, Harley, get off him."

Harley gave Jensen a deeply betrayed look and climbed off his master with a heartfelt sigh of doggie unhappiness. Jared's expression was only slightly less woeful, and that was only because he was still mostly asleep.

Jensen grabbed his shoulder and helped him up. Jared tottered a moment, like an unstable tree, then found his balance, eyes opening most of the way, hand finding its place on Jensen's forearm again. Warm.

Jensen glanced at it.

"Come on," he said, tugging Jared up the stairs as the dogs followed. Jared sat heavily on the bed, pulling his t-shirt up and off in clumsy slow-motion.

"Sorry. So tired," he mumbled as the fabric got stuck around his head.

"S'all right." Jensen sat down next to him, helping untangle hair and shirt and arms.

"Thanks, Jen," Jared said, heaving himself up to slide off his jeans.

Jensen nodded, reaching over to turn on the nightlight as Harley jumped up on the bed and made himself comfortable. Sadie hesitated, looking expectantly at Jensen, then signed a little and went to wait for him in the doorway. Jensen turned to follow her and was almost knocked over by a clumsy embrace from behind.

Jared's body was warm, as usual, and pressed fully against Jensen's, touching at every possible place: Jared's head was in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his waist, hands cupping his hipbones, groin against Jensen's ass, thighs pressed together. Even their feet were touching. It wasn't _new_ but it was _different_.

It was _good_.

It was late; they were both tired. They stood for several heartbeats, bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces.

Jensen squeezed Jared’s hands briefly, then pulled away with an awkward cough. Jared gave him a sleepy smile, mumbled "G'night," and turned to burrow into his bed.

Jensen turned off the overhead light and hesitated in the doorway. Sadie cocked an ear at him.

"Night, Jay."


	9. I is for Illustrative, from sarka

"What are you doing?"

Jared blinked. "Is this a trick question? I'm doodling."

Jensen looked over his shoulder again. There were all sorts of scribbles in the margins of his current script, but drawings, not the usual notes. "You don't doodle."

"I doodle!"

"Dude, you don't doodle. I've known you for four years. And you? Don't doodle on your scripts," Jensen argued.

Jared stuck his tongue out. "I can doodle if I want to. You're just jealous because you don't know everything about me. And also, I'm _artistic_."

" _Autistic_ is more like it," Jensen commented, grabbing the script from Jared to take a better look. "Huh. Looks like Sam's dick is longer than his legs. Also, why is everyone naked?"

"Hey, don't harsh on Sam just because Dean's the smaller brother in every way," Jared said smugly. "And I was illustrating the sex scene. Boobs are fun to draw."

Jensen nodded agreeably. "Boobs are always fun."

"Mmhmm." Jared grabbed the script back and started working on another creation. "Man boobs are okay too."

"You have some kind of obsession with Sam's body I should know about?" Jensen asked after a minute.

"Not really. Should I skip ahead a few pages and draw Dean for you?"

Jensen smirked. "No, that's all right. I like what you've got going there with Sam and Ruby. You do know that Gen's not actually the size of a Barbie doll compared to you, right? I'm starting to get concerned that you've got some kind of narcissistic size fetish."

Jared looked at him, nonplussed.

"It's all right if you've got a small cock, Jay. I won't tell anyone," Jensen offered. "I mean, the rest of you has doubled in bulk, but there just aren't any good exercises to make your dick bigger. Have you tried those pills for natural male enhancement?"

Jared set aside his script and pencil with exaggerated care, climbed up out of the chair, and purposefully reached for his belt buckle.

"Whoa!" Jensen yelped, taking a step back and waving his hands like he was trying to erase his best friend from a blackboard.

"Come on, man. I need your help. You're the real artist, you know. All that photography's given you a good eye for perspective and balance and shit. Help out a buddy; give me your honest opinion of my dick?" Jared begged with the most sincere look he could muster.

"Fine, I give! Uncle, or whatever; just keep it in your pants!" Jensen laughed, covering his eyes with both hands.

"Are you scared of Little Jared?" Jared asked, trying to sound concerned. "I promise he won't hurt you."

There was a long moment where they both just simply gave up and lost themselves to near-hysterical laughter, Jensen doubled over and holding his sides, Jared's eyes watering as he gasped for breath.

"Oh Jay," Jensen gasped out through his giggles, fluttering his eyelashes, "Be gentle with me. I've never done this with a man before."

"That's not what I've heard," Jared snorted.

"Bitch."

"Tramp."

"Whatever. You know you want this," Jensen smirked, letting his hands caress his chest as he licked his lips.

Jared grinned. "Damn right I do."

The door opened and a PA stuck her head in. "They're ready for you now," she said, "Come on, guys."

With a snicker, Jensen tossed the scribbled-upon script over to Jared. "Don't forget your pencil, doodle-boy."


	10. J is for Jumprope, from baileymoyes

The grocery store was surprisingly empty for 7:00 PM. It had been a long day but they had finished sort of early, and Jensen was contentedly following Jared, bouncing his head to the piped-in music, letting the colors and pictures on the labels distract him. Jared turned down the baby-food aisle and continued onward, losing Jensen to contemplations of how palatable pureed lamb could actually be. And spinach and potato puree? Gross.

He wandered back to Jared, who was standing in front of the toys, holding a package containing a sparkly red, white, and blue jump rope with tassels on the end.

He quirked an eyebrow. "You sure you don't want the jacks set instead? It has a sparkly pink ball. Or maybe a new Barbie doll? Is this a present for your best friend Peggy Sue's birthday party?"

Jared rolled his eyes and made Bitchface #2 at him (genuinely a little irked, but playing it up for humor value), and Jensen tried not to laugh. "It's for me, assface-"

"Don't swear in the aisle with children's stuff!" Jensen interrupted. "There could be kids here."

Jared pointedly looked up and down the empty row.

"Well, there _could_ be."

"Whatever! Anyway, it's for me. You may not have noticed because you're blind and all, but I've put on about thirty pounds of muscle in the last year or so. And I guess I'm not as agile as I used to be," Jared said.

"It's because you're getting old," Jensen offered helpfully.

"Fuck off; you're the only one getting older around here."

"Nope, Jay, I'm pretty sure that for every day that I age, you age too. Sorry to be the one to tell you, but that baby-face of yours is a thing of the past. Don't worry, I won't make you grow up too fast, though – you can still have your toy."

Jared smacked him upside the head. "Fuck _off_. My trainer wants me to, uh. Well. Learn how to jump rope."

Jensen didn't even try to hide his laughter. "You're going to start playing jump rope? Ooh, I should call your sister and see if she still knows any of those good rhyming songs - maybe the one about Miss Mary Mac?" he giggled.

"Dan says it'll help with coordination!" Jared tried but gave up with a muttered, "Asshole," and a resigned sigh.

Jensen snickered all the way home and through assembling dinner. When it was nearly ready, he set out in search of his housemate.

He found Jared on the back patio, a frustrated look on his face as he tried and failed to improve his coordination. Both dogs were sitting well away from the flying rope and swearing human, heads cocked to the side as they tried to figure out what on Earth their Alpha was doing.

Jensen snorted, alerting Jared to his presence. He whipped around, holding out the jump rope and almost hitting Jensen with it. "Here then! See if you can do better, jerk."

With a tsk, Jensen took it from him. "So much name calling tonight," he chastised as he fiddled with the grips and gave a few tentative swings before falling into an easy, even graceful, rhythm.

"I really hate you," Jared pouted. "Give it back."

"No, no," Jensen said, holding it out of his reach. "You wanted me to show you how it's done; I'm showing you."

Rather predictably, that launched a wrestling match in which Jared's long arms were matched against Jensen's squirrely twisting and lack of hesitation to fight dirty when needed. Their hands were all over each other, bodies pressed too close, until they finally crashed to the ground. The struggles turned into squirming and rubbing and hard breathing, legs interwoven, bodies straining. Jared's face was pressed into Jensen's neck, teeth almost-but-not-quite biting, and Jen's hands were gripping Jared's ass when they both suddenly froze in a shared moment of clarity.

"Um."

"Yeah," Jensen agreed. They disentangled, looking anywhere but at each other.

"So... Did you come out here just to laugh at me?" Jared asked, straightening his clothes.

Jensen's hand dropped from where he was rubbing at the pink spot on his neck. "Oh, uh, no. Dinner's just about ready."

They sat down in front of the TV with pasta and beer a short while later, Jared flipping to some documentary about bears while Jensen slyly fed the dogs bits of chicken and they both carefully ignored the elephant in the room for the rest of the night.

The jump rope lay abandoned on the patio, tassels sparkling under the stars.


	11. K is for Keys, from sarka

Jensen's key ring had seven keys on it: the key to his truck, the key to Jared's SUV, the key to his trailer; the key to Jared's trailer, the key to his apartment in LA, the key to Jared's house in Vancouver, and a key to his folks' house in Richardson.

Jared's key ring had pretty much exactly the same set of keys (trucks, trailers, houses, and _his_ folks' place in San Antonio). He used to have two other keys, one for Sandy's condo in LA and one for Jensen's place in Vancouver, but those had both been removed within the same month and now, well. Now they had embarrassingly matching key rings.

Exchanging keys hadn't even been a big deal, really. They were good friends, closer to each other than they were to anyone else in Vancouver. It just made sense to trade keys to each others' trucks/trailers/houses after a few too many late nights of driving each other home from bars, or locking themselves out of their trailers, or having to go get the dogs or Jensen's glasses from their respective houses when filming ran way too late.

It only made sense that of course Jared would stay at Jen's apartment in LA if he wasn't with Sandy for whatever reason, rather than a hotel. And Jensen would stay at Jared's when he was too drunk or too tired or just too damn lonely to go back to a rented apartment with nothing more welcoming than a houseplant or two.

Somehow Jared lost the Lone Star doodad from his keychain and Jensen had never bothered with anything that would add bulk to his key-ring, and that was when they started getting their keys mixed up. And _that_ was when it hit them that it was weird that it wasn't weird at all. Which was fairly normal for them, to not be weirded out by things until they noticed that they really _should_ be. But hello; they were guys! They were too busy to notice shit like that until it smacked them in the face and they couldn't ignore it any longer.

The third time Jensen had both sets of keys in his hand and honestly couldn't identify which ones were his was when it sank in that maybe there was something going on here that wasn't quite normal. It hadn't been those weird looks that he kept getting from Jared lately, or the hugs that seemed to feel extra good, or even the awkwardness that was developing between them; it was the goddamned _keys_. Fourteen pieces of metal that made everything crystal-fucking-clear in Jensen's mind.

Jared came up behind him and leaned his chin on Jensen's shoulder. "Whatcha lookin' at? Uh, I think these ones are mine," he suggested, poking at one set helpfully.

Jensen nodded but still kept staring at the keys.

"Huh. They really _are_ just about identical," Jared mused.

"Yup."

"That's..."

"Weird," Jensen nodded again.

"Huh."

They both stood, looking at the keys. The warmth of the space between their bodies grew.

Jared cocked his head to the side. Jensen heard him open his mouth to say something, pause, and close it without a word. He curled his fingers around the keys and turned around.

The look he gave Jared conveyed everything that neither of them had the words for, and he grabbed Jared by the collar of his t-shirt and tugged him down enough to bring their lips together, softly, just for a moment.

They both stepped back with matching looks of surprise.

"Oh," Jared blinked.

Jensen licked his lips. "Yeah."


	12. L is for Lips, from autumn-witch78

It had been a short kiss: less than a minute, longer than a moment. Jared's lips were dry and warm and his breath tasted like coffee. His mouth was firm with surprise but had relaxed before they separated, welcoming. Welcoming Jensen.

Which was a familiar thing for Jared's mouth to be doing, of course. He was always welcoming people, inviting them in, making them feel at ease. Jensen doubted if anyone had ever kissed Jared and been physically rebuffed by a resisting mouth; Jared just wasn't that kind of guy. If he seriously disliked you, you'd never get close enough for it to be an issue, and if he liked you, he wouldn't want to hurt your feelings by shoving you away. Nope, he was more of a laugh-it-off, gentle let-down kind of guy.

They hadn't even touched very much, aside from where Jensen had grabbed Jared's shirt and pulled him down. And their lips, of course. Those had touched, for sure. But their bodies had stayed tense, uncertain of what was happening, what was allowed, how this would go down. They knew each other, knew how to be in each others' space in a variety of ways, but they'd never been like this before. Well, sort of like this, maybe, goofing around. But not for real.

This was real. This counted.

*****

Feeling Jensen's body heat mingling with his, their lips pressing together so briefly, was almost like torment to Jared. It was wonderful, amazing, and so close to what he actually wanted that it physically _hurt_.

Jensen's lips were soft, and so much more tentative than Jared would have ever expected. How could Jensen be that uncertain? Didn't he know Jared wanted this too? Didn't he feel it? It was written all over Jared's face, in every line of his body, plain as day in his eyes and his smile, and he'd thought Jen knew how to read him better than just about anybody else ever had.

Maybe he was wrong.

But he couldn't be wrong; that look in Jensen's eyes just before he kissed Jared, the moment his hand closed around the collar of Jared's t-shirt, the unhesitant tug to bring their faces closer – he wanted it. And he'd been willing to risk taking it. But now, after the fact, Jensen's face was careful, neutral. Jared had no idea what he was thinking.

He didn't want to step back, smile, offer Jensen a way out. He wanted to pull Jensen forward, ravish his mouth, grind against him, kiss him speechless, make him moan until every worry Jensen had ever had was extinguished.

But they were friends.

Jared licked his lips, wishing they tasted like Jensen's, and dragged his eyes back to meet Jensen's. He smiled a little, not even sure what he was trying to communicate other than acceptance, that everything would be all right, that the ball was in Jensen's court.

They stood for a moment, awkward in new ways. Fortunately, Harley and Sadie broke the stalemate with inquisitive noses, reminding Jensen that the keys in his hand served a purpose.

"So, um. Park?" he asked.

The dogs answered affirmative in their usual boisterous way.

"Yeah. Let's go," Jared replied, hoping that Jensen knew he was agreeing to far more than a trip to the park.


	13. M is for Mojo, from autumn-witch78

"Nice shirt, Jen. Got a hot date?"

Jensen raised an eyebrow at Jared. "What, this old thing?" He managed to keep a straight face but his eyes gave away the smile.

Jared took a long moment to appreciate how the tight fabric hugged the lines of Jensen's arms and chest and waist, how the soft-looking material invited him to touch. How the light blue brought out the color of his skin, the freckles splashed across his nose, the rare and vivid green of his eyes.

"Yeah. It makes your skin look... Um. Clean?"

"Wow, Jay. No wonder you're single, if that's your idea of sweet talk."

Jared made a face at him, putting the bag he was carrying down on the kitchen counter. "Bite me. I was _trying_ to give you a compliment, asshole."

"I see. Well, you look clean too, and I mean that."

With a world-weary sigh, Jared handed over the cup still in his hand. "Here. I brought you a latte."

Jensen looked at the cup for a few seconds before taking it. "Thanks?"

"I didn't spit in it or anything, if that's what you're wondering."

Jensen took off the lid and looked at it for a moment before sipping. "Huh. Well, thanks for real then. What's in the bag?"

"Bagels, from that new place you liked."

Jensen's eyes lit up. "Ooh! Did you get some of that schmear too, the one with blueberries?"

"I got your schmear," Jared answered in a naughty tone, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Pervert."

Jared licked his lips slowly. "You have _no_ idea."

"Oh, I think I have some clue. I'm not wasting my delicious schmear on your hot bod, though, no matter how ripped you get."

"You like my body?" Jared grinned as he pulled off his hoodie and started flexing, muscles rippling under his thin t-shirt.

"I can barely keep my hands off it," Jensen snorted. He took a long drink of his coffee and set the cup down deliberately as Jared came closer.

"Yet you seem to be doing such a good job. Don't hold back, baby; you can have a piece of me."

Jensen snorted again. "Man, I'm too old for this flirting bullshit. Do you want to fuck or what?"

"Uh." Jared froze for a moment, derailed, before clearing his throat. "Hm. Not yet, no."

"Oh. Okay." A flush darkened Jensen's neck and ears, gradually turning his cheeks slightly pink as well. "Bagels, then?" he asked, eyes flickering over to the bag abandoned on the counter, behind where Jared had him blocked in.

Jared didn't move. "Kissing first."

Jensen gave him an incredulous look. "You turn me down, then you want to make out?"

"I like to take it slow," Jared shrugged, moving in closer until he could feel Jensen's breath on his face.

Their lips met effortlessly. Jared deepened the kiss, Jen's mouth opening under his, a hand tightening in Jared's t-shirt and pulling him closer.

This kiss? Way longer than just a moment.

There was nothing hesitant or cautious about it either; it was slow and long and heated, but they weren't holding back, just taking their time. Jared was painfully aware of every place they were touching, Jen's hands warm on his jaw and chest, the press of his thighs against Jared's an irrefutable presence. When Jensen shifted, turning and pressing Jared against the wall, his hands came up and spread across the length of Jensen's back, huge and strong. His fingers twitched the same moment he realized that he was hard _and_ that Jensen was hard, too. With deliberate movements, he ground their cocks together, the friction and frustration of too many clothes between them delicious in its own way.

"God, yeah," he moaned.

Jensen made a noise of agreement, grinding back against Jared until they were both breathing fast, legs wobbly, and they were going to fall down if they didn't find some place more horizontal, now. Or stop.

Jared stopped, pushing Jensen away just a little. There was resistance, yeah, and an expression that was more confusion than annoyance, but it melted into amusement pretty fast.

"Still no fucking?"

"Nah. This is good," Jared grinned.

Jensen rolled his eyes. "I always knew you were a gigantic tease."

Jared's laughter betrayed that he was guilty as charged, his vibrant happiness obvious in his face.


	14. N is for Nipple Rings, from okinay

"Ten Inch Hero" had caused more damage than it was worth. The amount of hassling Jensen got for his role, the endless jokes about makeup and wearing skirts and _other_ piercings his character might have had, was seriously unfair given that the movie was never even picked up for distribution. Sure, he'd met some cool people, gotten to hang out in Big Sur and Santa Cruz for some location shooting for a couple of weeks, and got to flex his comedic skills. But still: so totally not worth it.

Especially when his best friend was the kind of guy who used that stuff for fuel for fucking _years_.

After a while, it mostly dwindled to the occasional joke about guyliner and piercings and that Jensen was too pretty to be a convincing punk no matter what the makeup team did to his hair. God only knew what would set Jared off about it, though; he'd go for six months without mentioning a thing and then randomly show up at breakfast one day wearing a kilt and eyeliner and his hair slicked up with enough gel to cover a yak.

The unpredictability was actually a major feature in what drew Jensen to Jared, although he'd only admit that under pain of serious torture. Like playing keep-away with the coffee or something equally heinous. Seriously that shit _had_ to be against the Geneva Convention; one day Jensen was going to report him to the UN or Interpol or whatever. Some things were just _not_ cool.

They were making out on the sofa (again) when Jared interrupted his self-appointed task of licking every millimeter of Jensen's torso to say, "Priestly totally had his tits pierced, didn't he? Do you think he had rings or bars?"

Jensen debated the wisdom of arguing versus agreeing, and decided that the latter would be the quickest way to get Jared's mouth back to what it had been doing. "Bars. Rings woulda shown through on all his t-shirts."

With a noise of agreement, Jared leaned in to tongue a nipple, his right hand coming up to tweak the other as his left hand spread across Jensen's belly, holding him in place. Not that Jensen was trying to get away, no sir. Just squirming a little bit, maybe.

"You should do it," Jared suggested, trading places and pinching the now-wet nipple a little roughly. Not _too_ hard, and how had he known Jensen liked just an edge of teeth and nails anyway?

"Did," he gasped as Jared gave a hard suck, then bit down firmly. His cock was throbbing in his jeans and he was desperate for Jared to slide his hand down and actually fucking _touch_ him.

"What?"

Jensen accidentally might have let slip a noise that Jared would call a whine in a few hours. "Later?" he suggested, reaching down to unbutton his jeans before his cock was permanently injured.

"Uhuh. Now," Jared demanded, watching Jensen as if he was unwrapping a present. "Tell me first."

"First?"

He grinned. "Tell me and then I'll finally blow you."

Say anything you like, but Jared knew how to bargain and Jensen was smart enough to know when he was being offered a sweet deal.

"Fine. Before 'Dark Angel,' I was out with some buddies in LA and everyone decided it was the night to get all those tats and piercings we'd always wanted. I got my left nipple done and almost passed out from the pain."

"Pussy."

Jensen made a face. "I decided to wait until later to get the right one done. But then it got infected and my agent called with the job offer, and it was easier to just take it out and let it heal up."

Jared's eyebrows looked skeptical.

Rolling his eyes, Jensen pointed at his left nipple. "Here. This side scarred."

Taking a closer look at what seemed to just be one of dozens of freckles, Jared hummed. He poked at it with his fingertip, feeling the texture, then gave it a careful lick. Jensen shivered.

"Too bad," he conceded. "I bet it was hot."

Jensen shrugged. "Kinda an unnecessary pain in the ass, though, for an actor."

"Have you considered being a waiter again?" Jared grinned.

"Dick."

"Speaking of..." Jared sucked at each nipple in turn, then tugged Jensen's hips up enough to shove his boxers out of the way, freeing his erection.

"Oh shit yeah," he moaned, clutching Jared's shoulders and pushing his mouth down where he wanted it.

Jared slowly ran his tongue along the hard shaft, leaving a warm, moist trail. "Didn't need them, anyhow. You're pretty goddamned hot already," he murmured before closing his mouth around Jensen's cock at last.


	15. O is for Out, from gigglingkat

"We should go out."

Jensen blinked. "What, like on a date?"

"Yeah."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I dunno, dinner? Movie?" Jared shrugged.

Taking a deep breath of the _gathering-my-strength-against-your-idiocy_ variety, Jensen replied, "Jared. We go out to dinner all the time. And movies are a pain in the ass unless we go in the morning. Or with armed guards."

"Okay then; you pick."

Jensen gave him a probing look. "What's this about? What're you thinking?"

"I dunno. I just wanted to take you out," Jared said, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt.

"I'm not some chick who needs to be wined and dined."

"I _know_ that. Maybe I like wining and dining," he pouted.

"You're such a girl."

With a grin, Jared rubbed at his crotch. "I'm pretty sure you know I'm all man, baby."

Jensen gave in with a shake of his head. "All right. You plan it; I'll show up. Just tell me when and what to wear."

"Seriously?" The hopeful look on Jared's face was adorable.

"Yeah."

He grinned like a little kid being told he was going to Disneyland. "Awesome."

Four hours later, Jensen's cell phone vibrated, alerting him to a text. _8 pm wear yr prettiest dress ;)_.

"Eat me!" Jensen yelled up the stairs, getting a distant laugh in response.

When Jared knocked on the door of Jensen's bedroom a couple of hours later wearing a nice jacket and tie with jeans, holding out a small handful of flowers from the back yard, Jensen tried not to laugh.

"All my dresses are at the cleaner's, dude. I hope this will do?" He spread out his arms and twirled around, displaying his latest suit - a sleek, custom-tailored Ralph Lauren that made him look almost dangerously handsome. "Should I put on a tie?" he asked, drawing Jared's attention away from the perfect fit of the suit across his shoulders and around his waist, and up to the tempting opening at his throat.

"Um. No. You're good like that. I mean, great like that. I mean," he stammered, "You look real good."

Jensen smirked. "So are those pretty posies for me?"

Jared nodded and handed them over. Jensen gave him a look. "What the hell am I supposed to do with them?"

"Oh." Jared's face fell. "I guess there's probably a vase somewhere. In the kitchen maybe?" He rushed off in that direction, Jensen following close behind and trying not to laugh as Jared opened almost every cupboard before finally finding a huge vase under the kitchen sink. He filled it with water, took the flowers from Jensen and pushed them inside, where they nearly drowned. The bouquet listed sadly against the glass, barely peeking over the edge.

"Man, you suck at flowers," Jensen observed, shaking his head. "But thanks," he added before Jared's lips could slide further into a pout.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. So where are you taking me for dinner? You know I don't put out on the first date, right?"

Jared laughed. "I hate to break it to you but you've already put out. Just because we haven't fucked doesn't mean we haven't had sex. And also? You _totally_ do. You offered before we'd done more than just kiss."

Jensen made a face at him. "Yeah, well, I'm not a kid. When I want something, I ask for it; no point in beating around the bush."

The teasing and bickering offset any lingering nerves and they made it to the restaurant just a few minutes late for Jared's reservation. It wasn't a terribly fancy place, just a nice, quiet bistro that they'd heard about from one of the crew and hadn't checked out yet.

The food was incredible and the way Jared kept looking at Jensen, all starry-eyed, was even better. They had finished with their main courses, as well as most of a bottle of champagne Jared had insisted on, and were waiting for their desserts to arrive. It was a pleasant dinner, relaxed and not that different from their usual evenings, except that it was. It was a _date_ , yeah, but it was effortless. Dating each other wasn't much of a change from what they'd been doing for the last three years, it turned out.

It was hard to say who was more surprised by that, Jensen or Jared.

"To us," Jared smiled, holding up his glass with the last of the champagne bubbling away, eyes a little glazed from overindulgence.

"You are seriously such a dork," Jensen said, but lifted his glass and clinked it against Jared's.

"Hey guys!" a voice said off to their right. Kevin, from the sound department, grinned and leaned over Jared's shoulder. "I'm here with Stacy, my wife," he said, gesturing across the small restaurant. He raised an eyebrow as he noticed their bottle of champagne. "Celebrating something?"

"No, not really," Jared answered, confused about why Jensen was scowling at him.

Kevin gave them both a strange look.

"We're on a date," he explained with a happy grin.

Jensen froze. Jared would have expected an eye roll or a face-palm or something, some sign of amused embarrassment from Jensen, but not this deer-in-the-headlights shocked 'Oh shit' expression that made no sense at all...

Oh.

Oh shit.

He'd just outed them. On their very first date.

Jensen was never going to go out with him again.


	16. P is for Park Bench, from tularia

"Sorry, man," Jared said, collapsing onto a park bench in a sprawl that looked relaxed but was really just exhausted. It had been a fucking _long_ day, starting early in the morning with phone calls to and from agents and publicists, followed by an emergency meeting with the suits at the studio. The sun was starting to head down toward the horizon and all four members of the pack had needed to get out of the house and get some air.

"Quit apologizing." Jensen was throwing tennis balls in a steady rhythm for the dogs, two at a time, watching with amusement when the mutts argued about who got which one and spent the entire return trip with Harley trying to get Sadie to give up hers.

Jared sighed. "I didn't think it would be... I wasn't that drunk. I just didn't think."

Jensen threw the balls again. "I know you didn't."

"Are you mad?"

Another throw and a pause. Jensen shrugged, then shook his head.

"I wasn't planning on coming out this way."

The tennis balls left Jensen's hands with a bit more force than before, going farther. "Well, I wasn't really planning on coming out at all. That's kind of been the whole reason for the 'my personal life is personal' stance with the press for the last decade," he pointed out.

"Yeah. I know," Jared sighed. God, he'd fucked up. He leaned his head back and let his eyes close. "Well, it's not like the cast and crew don't sign confidentiality agreements. And I think Kevin is trustworthy."

Jensen nodded. "Yup. That's what the suits seem to think." He sat down too, and they watched the dogs play with each other. "It's not a catastrophe, Jay."

"I know. But it's not good either."

Jared felt Jensen's shrug. "Life goes on."

"So you're really not mad at me?" he asked, opening his eyes to look at his... boyfriend?

"Nope."

He couldn't help grinning, only realizing at that moment how goddamned worried he'd been that Jensen would call the whole thing off and want to be just friends again. Thank fuck. "Prove it," he teased and leaned over to kiss Jensen.

A strong hand came up and held him away. "We're in public, asshole."

"Just one little smooch, come on," Jared wheedled. "No one's even around."

With a shake of his head and a long-suffering sigh, Jensen relaxed his hold and let Jared move in closer. Their lips met, tentative at first, asking and finding forgiveness. Jared's arm wrapped around Jensen's shoulders, pulling him closer as their mouths parted and the kiss deepened.

A hugely wet slurp across both their faces, including their open mouths, was the most effective mood-killer Jared had ever experienced. Jensen laughed as Jared shoved Harley down and Sadie growled and snapped at her playmate as if upset that he'd ruined the moment between their two alphas.

Jensen patted her on the head. "Can't take these two anywhere, can we?" he chuckled. "Good thing we love them anyway."

Jared's stupidly happy grin lasted the whole walk home.


	17. Q is for Quest, from sarka

"Never?"

"Nope."

"Not even once?"

"No, Jay – that's what 'never' means," Jensen said, rolling his eyes.

Jared opened his mouth to ask something, closed it when Jensen scowled at him, and then repeated the sequence twice more before he let out a breath of frustration.

"Not even by yourself?"

"I do not know what words to use that mean 'never' that I haven't already tried," Jensen said, enunciating carefully. "Never. Not with someone else; not by myself. Not recently. Not when I was a teenager. Not _ever_."

"Okay, okay. I get it."

"Are you sure? Would you like me to clarify that I've never had my prostate stimulated by a man, by a woman, by a doctor, or by a goat? Not on a train, not on a boat; not here _or_ there; not anywhere!"

Jared threw his hands up in exasperation. "I get it! I just... There's this really awesome spot inside you that feels fuckin' _amazing_ and I'm having a hard time believing that you like being fucked up the ass but haven't ever felt your prostate. Or that you never went looking for it, once you decided that your ass was a happy place to play. I mean, come _on_! Make this make sense."

Jensen shrugged. "Maybe I don't have one. Or maybe it's hidden or something. I don't know. And I like being fucked; there's more to it than just your prostate, you know."

"I know... But it's, like, the best part."

"You're just a sensation whore."

"Dude, if you'd ever come from just your prostate being stimulated, you'd know how awesome it is to be a whore," Jared said sagely.

"I do admit, I like it better when you're a whore than when you're a tease. I thought you were going to kill me, makin' me wait that first week."

Jared grinned and in a quick move straddled Jensen's lap, holding onto the back of the sofa. Jensen fumbled for the remote and turned the TV off.

"I like anticipation," he murmured against Jensen's jaw, running the tip of his tongue against the stubble. As he expected, Jensen made an impatient noise, grabbed Jared's head, and brought their mouths together for a kiss that left them both breathing hard.

Most of their clothing was strewn around the living room when Jared slid off of his lap into what was becoming a familiar position, kneeling on the floor. Rather than just pulling Jensen's jeans and underwear down enough to get at his cock, he paused to remove them completely and pulled Jen's hips to the edge of the cushion. Jensen lifted an inquisitive brow but Jared just gave him his best mysterious smirk and wrapped both hand and mouth around the hard flesh in front of him.

Jared sucked it down, pressing his tongue against the familiar length firmly, moaning along with Jensen. They'd pretty much stalled-out at third base, because Jared loved sucking Jensen's dick so damn much that he never wanted to stop until he got Jen off, and by then he was so worked up that a hand or a quick suck was all he needed before he was coming, too. Jensen made the best goddamned sounds, and he tasted and smelled so fucking good that Jared's cock was inevitably leaking by the time Jensen was pulling his hair in warning that he was close.

Tonight, though, Jared had another plan; he pulled back just when the moans were getting really good. Jensen's kicked-puppy face had nothing on Jared's but it was still effective. He was too far gone to make actual words but the _What the hell?_ in his whimper was pretty clear.

Jared fumbled under the sofa cushions and grinned smugly as he tugged Jen's hips further down to the edge. "I bet I can find it." There was no time for Jensen to do more than make a slightly confused face before his cock was back in Jared's mouth.

Two slick fingers pressed and circled around Jensen's opening, making him groan and tilt his hips up at a more accommodating angle. Jared swirled his tongue around the head of Jensen's cock as he eased his fingers into the tight passage. The constriction eased quickly and in no time at all Jared had two fingers fucking Jensen's ass, thumb rubbing his balls, while his other hand held the base of Jen's erection. There was definitely a small, firm spot and when Jared's fingers pressed it, the cock in his mouth practically leapt forward and the noise Jensen let out made Jared feel like a fucking _god_.

Steady stroking combined with the sucking and licking had Jensen writhing like a crazy thing. It was pretty much the hottest fucking thing Jared had ever done. He couldn't help angling himself so he could rub off against Jen's leg, not even caring whether Jensen felt him or not. He must have, though, or maybe his body had just had enough stimulation, because Jensen jerked up with a deep, guttural yell as he climaxed in long pulses, body shuddering for what seemed like fucking _hours_.

He finally crashed down, his breath just _gone_ , eyes rolling back as Jared jerked off quickly and came all over Jensen's calf and the floor. He collapsed right there, head on Jensen's thigh as they both panted for air.

Jared ran his finger through the mess drying in Jensen's leg hair. "Shower?" he suggested.

There was no noise from above, just the same heavy breathing.

Lifting his head to look up, Jared saw that Jensen had thrown an arm over his eyes and sunk back so far into the sofa that it looked like he'd never get out. "Did I break you?"

He got a mumbled "Uh-huh" in response, which wasn't very reassuring.

"You okay?"

Jensen's lips tugged upward and a clumsy hand landed on Jared's neck, squeezing briefly. "Sshhhh."

Jared snickered quietly, settling back into Jensen's lap with a smug, "Told you so."

 


	18. R is for Row (argument), from sarka

"Clean up the mess you made in the kitchen last night, slob," Jared ordered from the sofa.

Jensen flipped him off, ambling towards the room in question to get a cup of coffee. Except that there weren't any clean mugs in the cupboard. And the dishwasher was full of dishes that proved upon inspection to be beyond 'dirty' and heading towards 'nasty.' With a frustrated noise, Jensen poured coffee into a brandy snifter, the only clean glass he could find.

"No," he said, sitting down next to Jared on the sofa.

"Yes! You got almost every dish in the house dirty trying to 'cook' last night," Jared argued, complete with air-quotes.

"You ate it, so it was food. Therefore, I cooked and _you_ have to clean up," Jensen scowled.

Both dogs pricked their ears at the argumentative tones and slunk out of the room before things got ugly. You only have to be squashed by two wrestling human males once before you learn to get out of the room entirely.

"I loaded the dishwasher and I washed all the stuff in the drain-rack. The housekeeper doesn't come for three more days and we have no clean cups, plates, or forks!"

Jensen rolled his eyes. "But you forgot how to turn the dishwasher _on_? Are you brain damaged all of the sudden or what?"

"Fuck you."

"Right back at you, asshole."

"Dick."

"Jerk."

"Clean up my kitchen!" Jared bellowed.

Jensen threw a sofa cushion at him. It sailed through the air in a graceful arc, evading the flapping hands, and hit Jared right on the nose. They both blinked at each other, stunned that he hadn't batted it away, then burst into laughter.

"I can't believe you-" Jared sputtered.

"You _missed_!" Jensen nearly fell off the sofa, laughing hard.

Jared kicked his shin. "Fucker."

"Loser."

"Fine," Jared said, rolling his eyes. "We'll clean up together."

Fifteen minutes later Jared had put away the clean dishes and started the washer going. Jensen had hand-washed the rest of the dirty dishes they couldn't wedge into the machine and was scrubbing down the stove and countertops.

"This can't wait for Michelle and her almighty cleaning team?" he grumbled.

"No. It's sticky. We'll get ants," Jared pointed out.

Jensen threw down the sponge in his hand. "Okay, I get that the kitchen is a mess and we need clean dishes. But what the fuck crawled up your ass and died, man? This isn't like you."

"Nothing!"

"Don't you give me that chick-bullshit. It's _something_ and I'm not gonna stand here and play this stupid game with you. Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you or get the fuck over it, Padalecki."

Jared slammed down the bottle of cleaning spray in his hand. "Nothing," he repeated, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling. Jensen scowled. "Fine," he sighed. "I just..."

"Spit it out or I'm walking."

"God, I hate you. Fine. I want you to fuck me. But you haven't said anything about it and I don't know what you want."

"Oh my _God_ , you're such a girl. Like, a whiny girl, even, not even a decently mature one." Jensen rolled his eyes. "Yes, I wanna fuck you. How was it not clear that I like both?"

"Dunno," Jared shrugged. "It's just been, you know, all about _your_ ass. Mine's feeling neglected."

"I can take care of that," Jensen smirked, backing his boyfriend up against the counter. Jared slunk down obligingly to meet his lips while Jensen's hands framed his waist and slid back to grab his ass. Their tongues met in a familiar way, arousal building slowly but steadily as Jared apologized without words for being an idiot and Jensen punished him with forceful, demanding lips.

Jensen's hands cupped the curves of Jared's butt, dragging him closer until they could grind together. He dug his fingers into the baggy fabric, pressing against the seam and rubbing at Jared's crack while he pushed his tongue blatantly into Jared's mouth.

When he pulled back they were both breathless and hard and Jared's legs felt like they were melting. Having his asshole teased like that never failed to make him stupid and frantic, ready to do just about anything to get fucked.

"Bedroom?" he pleaded.

Jensen took a step back and grinned. "Sure you don't wanna finish scrubbing the counters first?"

"Eat me."

"Excellent plan," Jensen agreed, grabbing Jared by the wrist and tugging him upstairs.


	19. S is for Spurs, from violetlemon47

"Whoo!" Jared yelled, throwing his arms in the air and wiggling around on the sofa as the Spurs sunk another basket. "Two more points for me!"

Jensen was rooting for the Grizzlies, because that's what they always did when they watched basketball. This time, though, instead of their usual wacky bets for who would steal their costar's underwear or flub the same line twenty times in a row or kiss every person in the lighting crew on the mouth, they were betting for something more interesting – topping. And Jensen? Well, he was losing.

Not that that was a bad thing.

Jared had been teasing him pretty relentlessly throughout the entire game: groping him during commercial breaks, suggestively sucking and licking his fingers clean of sour sugar, and crawling all over Jensen every time he got off the sofa to get another beer from the kitchen. They'd both been mostly-hard at least since half-time and while Jensen didn't mind a bit of teasing, he was goddamned good and ready for the game to end and the fucking to start.

Just being near a flirty Jared was a sort of torture in its own right. His cheeks got flushed, his hands flapped, his expressions and gestures alternating between slyly seductive and outright joyful. He was spastic and goofy and Jensen just wanted the damn Grizzlies to lose already so he could get Jared out of his clothes and his cock inside Jensen's ass Right Fucking Now.

The last time Jared had fucked him, he'd teased Jensen for what seemed like hours and hours, fingering him slowly, rubbing every millimeter inside his ass thoroughly until Jensen was whimpering for Jared to give him his cock. When Jared had finally given in to Jensen's pleas, he'd been surprised with hard, fast strokes, and Jared confessing that teasing Jensen like that had gotten him so worked up that he just couldn't fuck him slow, the way he'd meant to. Jared being that turned on, losing control inside his body so fast, made Jensen come almost immediately; he'd barely needed to touch his dick at all before he was shooting hard enough that his vision grayed out.

His ass had hurt in the best way, and the little throbbing reminders had lasted for the next twenty-four hours. It was definitely one of the best fucks Jensen has ever had.

Before Jared, Jensen had preferred being on top but now he didn't care much either way – though of course he certainly liked fucking Jared, too. Jared's firm thighs and muscular ass gripped his cock perfectly, but it was really the noises that he made when he was fucked, the way he just opened himself up and _gave_ , how he abandoned himself to the deep inner pleasure that got Jensen off the most.

Well, that and the foreplay. Unlike any other guy Jensen had ever fooled around with, Jared liked to take his time with the kissing and touching, the groping and the rubbing, the _tormenting_. It made Jensen irritated and amused in equal portions; he'd want to laugh and also fucking strangle Jared at the same time. Jared just really liked to play, though, and sex-play was as much fun as it was frustrating.

Every time Jared's hands stopped touching him, every time he climbed off of Jensen's lap when the commercials ended, collapsing down next to him, legs spread and hard-on evident, breathing hard, smug with how riled up Jensen was getting, Jen wanted to grab the remote, forfeit the bet, and drag Jared upstairs. But no – Jared insisted they finish.

The boy was _such_ a goddamned cock tease.

The Spurs made another basket and the clock started the count for the last minute. Cheers and groans from the arena suddenly drowned out the commentators as the Grizzlies made a last-ditch effort and somehow scored six points. Five seconds on the clock, the Spurs' point guard stumbled and the ball sailed through the air unimpeded, giving the Grizzlies three more points just as the buzzer went off.

"Holy shit! They won. I won," Jensen gasped.

The slightly crestfallen look that Jared got whenever his home team lost faded as his gaze shifted from the TV to Jensen. A slow, easy grin that Jen had come to recognize as lustful spread across his face.

Jared licked his lips and shrugged. "I don't mind losing."

"Nope?"

"Nah. That's the thing about fucking you, Jen – either way, I win."


	20. T is for Tickle, from arieltachna

Jared looked pretty goddamned amazing, blindfolded and tied up all spread-eagled on the bed. He'd been there for at least half an hour, with Jensen slowly touching him, trailing his fingers over every single inch of skin, and _damn_ , that boy had a lot of inches, all over the place. Miles and miles of tawny skin, firm muscle, angles and curves and planes to be explored with Jensen's sensitive fingertips, traced and tasted by his lips and tongue.

It wasn't just that revenge was sweet, getting back at his lover for all the teasing; no, they were both loving this. Although the revenge aspect didn't exactly hurt, either.

"Come _on_ , Jen. Suck me," Jared groaned.

Jensen tsked. "Now, now. Aren't you the one always sayin' you like to take it slow? Holdin' me down, teasin' me for hours? Figured you do it to me so much that you must like it done to you, too, right? Do Unto Others?"

Jared sighed. "Well, yeah, but. You're killing me, here."

"Just like you always do to me," Jensen pointed out, tweaking a nipple a bit harder than intended. He moved on, focusing his attention on the vast expanse of Jared's chest, licking across familiar, tight nipples, feeling the curve of Jared's ribcage and the ridges of abdominal muscles against his cheek. Sliding over them with his tongue and....

Jared jerked away with a squeal.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Um," Jared stalled, his already dark-flushed cheeks turning even more pink.

"You squeaked."

"Did not." Jensen's skeptical look penetrated even through the blindfold. "All _right_. Your stubble tickled."

Jared couldn't see the evil grin, but he could still sense it and his already on-edge body quivered.

"Do you like being tickled, Jay? Is that why you always pin me down and have your way when we get into it? Does it make you hard and achy for more, twisting something innocent and childish into a grown-up perversion?"

Jared shook his head in protest.

"Don't lie to me; I've felt your cock pressin' against me when we wrestle on the floor. Have for years but I was always too polite to bring it up, figured you were still just an insatiable young guy who couldn't help pressing his dick into his best friend's body when they were all tangled up together." Jensen paused, dragging his tongue down Jared's hip bones, lips barely whispering across his smooth skin. "But that wasn't it at all, was it? It turned you on, didn't it?"

Jared's face scrunched up, trying to protest, disagree, or at the very least hold out and not answer. A quick flick of Jensen's tongue over the head of his cock made him give in, gasping, "It wasn't the tickling, Jen, I swear. Just you."

Glad the blindfold was keeping Jared from seeing the absurdly pleased look on his face, Jensen applied himself to rewarding Jared's honesty. He traced his fingertips over arms, hands, collarbones, sternum, down into Jared's navel, butterfly-light touches that made Jared shiver and twist and his cock drip onto his stomach. By the time Jensen got to Jared's legs he was writhing like a wild thing, and Jensen was more glad than ever that he'd tied Jared's feet to the bedposts as well as his hands.

"Please, please, _please_ , Jen. Come on and touch me, suck me, untie one of my hands - just fuckin' touch my dick, _please_."

With a slight chuckle Jensen took the most wicked option, straddling Jared's legs, brushing his own erection against his lover's knee. He glided a gently teasing tongue down the hard length of Jared's cock, wiggling through the wiry hair for a moment before continuing down to lap at his balls. He traced a path back up, twisting around the length of Jared's shaft before licking up his precome, and then repeated the process again.

Relentlessly, he tormented Jared's thighs and balls and cock with kittenish laps, nuzzling into his hipbones and lightly flicking his nipples when he needed a break. It didn't take long to over-stimulate Jared to the point where he was positively thrashing around, his pleas for release turned into incoherent babble.

Without increasing the pressure or ever giving Jared a satisfying rhythm, Jensen kept up the tickling assault. Jared's groans and gasps were interspersed with giggles and he was shifting to get closer and to get away in equal amounts. Finally, Jared's torso gave a great heave, nearly dislodging Jensen as he spurted all over his chest, Jensen's tongue still pressed to the edge of his glans. He shook and fought the restraints for long minutes, groaning with each burst as Jensen held him down.

It took forever for Jared to settle, moans still mixed with weak laughter.

"Good?" Jensen asked, pulling off the blindfold as Jared relaxed and stretched his arms, still shivering a little.

"Mmm." Jared opened his eyes, a slow smile spreading across his face. "There's a reason they call it the Golden Rule."


	21. U is for Urban, from griffndor

"Yeah, yeah, _oh_!" Jared groaned, shivering as he came all over Jensen's stomach and chest. Long moments later he crashed forward onto Jensen, who grabbed him by the hips and thrust deep inside Jared's body a few times until he came, too, biting Jared's shoulder hard enough to leave a mark.

Weak sounds and feeble movements eventually penetrated Jared's afterglow fog.

"Mmm?"

"Off," Jensen gasped, hands half-heartedly pushing at Jared's shoulders. "Can't breathe."

Jared dutifully rolled to the side so they could both catch their breaths after the marathon sex that had both started and ended with Jared on top, and had required the use of four condoms in between. They were both covered in sweat and come, the sheets were just as gross, and every cell in Jared's body was relaxed and satisfied.

With a sudden shriek Jensen bolted upright, clutching the sheets to his chest like a scandalized maiden. Harley, standing beside the bed, cocked his head with a puzzled look.

"He _licked_ me!"

Jared looked at his dog, then his lover, then the dog again. "He does that. You're probably all salty and you smell like me. He _likes_ me."

"No, assface," Jensen said, kicking him. "He _licked_ me. Like, right by my cock! Your spooge!"

Jared couldn't help it; he cracked up laughing. Jensen, of course, retaliated with physical violence, although they were both too drained for it to turn into much more than a moment of unenthusiastic wrestling.

"He's just a dog; he doesn't know it's wrong."

"Those are personal, private areas," Jensen huffed, pulling the sheet back up to cover said areas.

"Dogs don't have private areas," Jared grinned, patting the bed and inviting Harley up. Sadie rose from her bed in the corner and joined them, nudging up beside Jensen's hip.

"What, were you worried he'd get too into it?" Jared asked, poking Jensen in the side. "Like that story about the dude who put peanut butter on his cock to get the dog to lick it off and instead ended up getting so mauled the docs couldn't save his dick?"

Jen reached down and cupped a protective hand around his balls. "Can we not talk about things like that right now? I'm feeling traumatized."

"How about the woman who wanted to play a joke on her fat slob of a husband? She put a turkey neck sticking out of his underwear when he was napping on the sofa, and the family dog started gnawing on it. The poor guy died of a heart attack."

"That's totally just an urban legend, dude. The one about the deep-fried chicken head in a box of chicken nuggets is true."

Jared stuck out his tongue. "It is not, you liar. How about the deep-fried rat one from KFC, though? That's why they don't have 'chicken' in the restaurant signs anymore."

"I thought that was because they use genetically modified things that aren't really chickens anymore."

"Whatever; it's gross,” Jared said, petting Harley for a few moments. "You know what? I'm hungry."

"Alert the media," Jensen said, rolling his eyes.

"We could order in."

Jensen shook his head, climbing out of the bed and heading toward the shower. "Just so long as it's not chicken."


	22. V is for Virtual Reality, from gigglingkat

_I want your cock._

_Want to lick and taste you all over._

_Rim you until you're soaking wet. Eat your ass until you're begging for my cock, until you're as horny as I am right now._

Jensen blinked rapidly, checking over his shoulder that no one was standing close enough to read all the text messages Jared had sent while he was on the three-hour flight from Vancouver to LA. While waiting at the baggage claim, he replied, _Just landed. Good flight. Coffee actually decent this time. How are the dogs?_

The phone rang with a familiar ringtone as he got into the car his agent had sent over to pick him up.

"I'm so fucking hard right now," Jared moaned.

"Hey man, I'm good too. On my way to the hotel at the moment, how about you?"

"I fucking _want_ you. Want your cock in my ass, want my fingers in yours, you riding me, thrusting into me, fuckin' me and fuckin' yourself on my hand. Want you under me, legs around my neck, bent in half so you can barely breathe while I slam into you so hard your ass'll hurt for _days_."

Clearing his throat, Jensen shifted around, hoping to alleviate the pressure building in his crotch. "That sounds...nice?" he offered.

"I woke up and the bed smelled like you, like your sweat and come, all mixed up with mine since we didn't change the sheets last night. It turned me on so fast, Jen. I wake up with wood every mornin' anyway, but smellin' you like that, god. I just want you so bad."

"Uh, mmhm. Me too," Jensen managed to answer, glancing up at the driver, who seemed fully absorbed by the traffic.

"Wish you were here. I've got my hand around my dick, just been teasing myself slow, the way I tease you. Makin' it last until I could talk to you, hear your voice, tell you how turned on I am and how much I need to come. Wish I could come all over you, your pretty face, your chest – wanna lick my come off your nipples, use my teeth until you're squirmin' like a fish on the line. Wanna come on your tight little ass, watch it run down your crack and all over your thighs. Wanna come inside you, no condom, get you wet and nasty, fill you up."

There was a pause for a moment, the silence only broken inside Jensen's head by the thundering sound of his heartbeat.

"Are you hearing this, Jen?"

"Yeah," he managed to croak.

"You sound a little breathless. Driver still right there in the front seat?" Jared chuckled.

Jensen nodded without realizing it, before catching himself enough to add, "Yup. Sure is."

"You're hard, aren't you, just hearin' me, desperate like this, wantin' you?"

"Mmmhmm. A little, I think, yeah," he answered, trying to sound normal.

"Bet you're gonna be glad you're wearing jeans instead of slacks, aren't you? You'll have to untuck your shirt and hope nobody notices your huge cock straining to get out as you check into the hotel, aren't you?"

Jensen reached down to adjust himself and rearrange his shirt like Jared had suggested. "Absolutely. You're totally right; I am."

"I'm jerking off, you know, thinking about you. Talkin' to you. Totally naked, spread across our bed upstairs. Got one of the dildos out of the box under the bed, from before you and I started fucking. Did you even know I had those? I bet you've got some, too, don't you?"

"Not really, I don't think so," Jensen replied, distraction evident as he struggled to keep his breathing even and his tone of voice normal, or at least what he _hoped_ sounded normal.

Jared laughed again. "You don't know? It's a simple question, Jen."

Jensen was distracted for a few seconds as the car pulled up to his hotel, and how had they gotten here so damn fast? The driver opened the door and he struggled out, still clutching his phone, grabbing a bag to hold in front of his crotch as they made their way inside. The driver spoke to the concierge as Jensen listened to Jared tell him about lubing up the dildo, sliding it into his ass, listening to him gasp and moan and pant into the phone at Jensen while he fucked himself.

The concierge had to clear his throat twice to get Jensen's attention, holding out the key-card to him.

"Wish this was your cock, sliding into me. Love how full you make me feel, the way you wrap yourself all around me. The way you always slide in real careful at first, and how you slam into me when you lose it and finally come... _Oh god_ , yeah..." he groaned. "Oh yeah, right there, right there, god, Jen, I'm gonna come..." And then he did, four wordless shouts interspersed with gasps for breath.

Jensen could practically _see_ Jared's face, eyes squeezed shut, body twisting as his back arched, slamming the dildo into his ass with one hand while the other fisted his cock, shooting all over his stomach, his chest, maybe even onto his shoulders and neck. He made a little whimpering noise in front of the bellman, who gave him a strange look, so he tipped the guy an extra twenty bucks before closing the door and locking it.

"Oh my god I fucking _hate_ you," Jensen groaned as he ripped open his jeans, grabbed his cock, and gave it a couple of quick pulls before he came all over his hand. He collapsed against the wall, easing down to sit on the floor, unclenching his fingers from their death-grip on the phone.

Jared chuckled, still a little breathless. "So you'll be back tomorrow evening?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be waiting for you."

Jensen groaned, wiping at the sweat on his forehead with the back of his sticky hand. "God, I need a shower."

He hung up on Jared while the dork was still laughing.


	23. W is for Whisper, from autumn-witch78

Humans made an awful lot of pointless vocalizations. Their words were useful, sometimes, and Sadie and Harley knew an awful lot more of them than most people seemed to realize, but the dogs had learned not to pay attention unless they heard important words like 'food' or 'park' or 'bath' or 'cookie.' Still, a good part of the things people meant to say, they conveyed with their bodies and with their tone of voice, just like dogs.

For example, first thing in the morning Jared's body said that he was happy it was a new day and that running outside would be a lot of fun and that he was happy to see Harley and Sadie. _Jensen's_ body said that it was too damn early to be awake and that he needed some of that nasty, bitter-smelling water, and that everybody better watch out before he got it if they didn't want to be stumbled over or snarled at or both.

Once Jensen started sharing the big Alpha bed with Jared, they usually both woke up and said that cuddling would be nice, very nice, and that Sadie and Harley had to get off the bed _now_ because they needed more room, sorry. Harley tended to pout more than Sadie did about having to wait for his breakfast and their run, but Jared was also extra-super happy with the world on those mornings so Sadie didn't mind.

Like Jared and Sandy (and like their Alpha sometimes all by himself, which was deeply puzzling), Jared and Jensen made an awful lot of strange yelping and barking noises while they were having dominance games in the bed. They made happy giggles, and deep oh-yes-that's-the-good-spot groans, and the occasional yelp of pain that wasn't uncommon when play got a little too rough or clumsy. Jared's howls of enjoyment were a lot louder than Jensen's but Jensen smelled like he enjoyed himself a lot anyway.

It took Sadie a long time to realize it but it was the sounds after the dominance-wrestling _ended_ that were the most different. With Sandy, there had been quiet breathing and then sleep. With Jensen, unless it was late at night, there would be soft, contented noises, murmurs and cuddling and petting. The dogs usually tried to join in for that part, although the humans had a strange reluctance to let the dogs help clean them up. It was kind of stupid really, given the pitiful size of human tongues, but it was just another inexplicable thing about living in a mixed-species pack.

After the season started to change and the super-thick duck-smelling bedding came out, the murmurings in the Alpha bed took on a different tone. The humans' post-dominance noises were gentle and happy, and Sadie and Harley could clearly hear the love, the long conversations of affection and pack-bonding and devotion. They didn't have to say the words that made Jensen a little uncomfortable or Jared slightly sad; it was clear enough to anyone with eyes and a nose what was going on.

They were mated. Just like Sadie and Harley, ever since the day Jared brought them both home. Their pack was four now and they'd never go away without coming back home to each other.

And Sadie and Harley got the big bed downstairs all to themselves whenever they wanted it.


	24. X is for Xena: Warrior Princess marathon, from gigglingkat

"So, didja ever jerk it to Xena?"

Jensen gave Jared a sideways glance. "Um. What?"

Nodding at the TV where Xena, Warrior Princess, was ululating and kicking ass, Jared made a crude jerking-off gesture. "You know."

"Not really, no. There's no TV in my bedroom at my folks' house."

Jared shrugged. "There's always the computer. DVDs."

"So I take it that means _you_ did, then?"

"Hell yeah. Xena's got a great rack."

Jensen nodded in agreement and they both watched the show for a few moments in silent appreciation of the woman's assets.

"Do you miss them?" he finally asked.

"What? Boobs?"

Jensen nodded.

Jared shrugged. "Boobs are fun."

"Haven't we had this discussion before?" Jensen wondered. "Anyway, I'm not debating whether boobs are fun or not: duh. I'm asking if you _miss_ them," he said, fiddling with the remote.

"Hm. Sometimes, I guess. Boobs, pussy; women in general." Jared paused for a few minutes. "But I missed dick when I was with Sandy. So it's not like... Not like I'm not used to it. Not like I'm dying for something I can't have."

A noncommittal noise of semi-agreement was the response. Jensen seemed to be focusing his full attention on the TV - but Jared knew better than that.

"Plus, I guess we haven't really said whether boobs are something I _can't_ have. Or that you can't, either. Or other dicks, I guess."

Jensen looked confused and also somewhat alarmed. "What?"

"Well, we haven't said. _You_ haven't said. Is this an open kind of thing or are we looking at monogamy? If it's open, is it just open for girls when we want them, or can we fuck other dudes too?" Jared grabbed the remote from Jen and turned off the TV. "How do you want this to be?"

"What do you want?"

"Oh no; you don't get to play the martyr with me, asshole. Tell me what you want – just me? Girls too? Free agent – or anyone you wanna fuck?"

"Dude, you're the one who just got out of a four-year long relationship. I don't... I don't wanna tie you down again if you wanna play the field." Jensen's body language was purposefully nonchalant but Jared could read the tension hiding in his eyebrows and his restless hands like a pro.

"I can't believe you're making me spell this out because you're too dumb to know, jerk, but I just want _you_. No other guys. No girls." Jared took Jensen's hands and slid down to kneel on the floor between his legs. He fluttered his eyelashes. "Jen, I love you. And I wouldn't trade this for even the most bouncy boobs in the world."

Jensen shoved him, a smile breaking through the tension on his face. "God, you're such a dork. I have no idea why I put up with you."

"You _love_ me," Jared grinned.

"Not really; I'm just sleeping with you because it's so convenient."

"Same thing," Jared said, leaning in for a kiss.


	25. Y is for Yellow, from aelfwitchfic

"Holy shit! I'm blind," Jensen yelped as he pushed down the comforter.

His reply was a day-glo yellow pillow hitting him in the face. "Fuck off. They're perfectly fine sheets."

"Yeah, if you want to have LSD-inspired nightmares."

Jared put his hands on his hips and retorted, in his most pissy tone, "Well, if you hadn't _ripped_ the blue ones, we wouldn't have to use my only extra set."

"Why do you even have sheets in such an offensive color? I mean, I know you have no taste whatsoever, but come on, dude. Surely even you know that these are practically a crime against bedding."

Jared rolled his eyes. "They were a gift from my sister. And they're actually really soft."

"Just butt ugly."

" _Summery_."

" _Hideous_."

"You can always sleep on the bed downstairs, asshole," Jared said as he stuck out his tongue.

One glance at the dogs and their quirked eyebrows made it clear that this was _not_ an acceptable option. Jensen sighed.

"It'll probably be fine once the lights are out," he grumbled.

"Fucker," Jared griped as he switched off the lamp.

Jensen waited until Jared had settled himself in the bed before rolling on top of him. "If I'm the fucker, that makes you the fuckee."

"That's not even a word, you ignorant slut." Jared's grumbling tone was only somewhat contradicted by the fact that his hands had automatically come up to hold Jensen's hips and then slid back to palm the curves of his ass.

"'M not ignorant," Jensen growled as he bit Jared's neck.

"Oh god, yeah. Leave a mark, please," Jared moaned, arching under Jensen's mouth. "And I notice you're not arguing with the 'slut' part."

"Do you ever shut up?" Jensen wondered as he obligingly bit again, sucking up a purple bruise that was visible even in the semi-darkness, deeply pleased that no one would be bitching about it since they were off for the next five weeks.

Jared grinned and rolled them over. "Not unless I've got somethin' in my mouth." He pressed Jensen's shoulder down hard and slid down to breathe on his cock. "You know how oral I am."

Flexing his hips with a frustrated noise, Jensen grabbed Jared's head with strong hands. "Shut up and suck me, damn it." The words were barely spoken before he was pulled into Jared's warm, wet mouth. He twisted his fingers through the long hair for a moment, petting more than demanding, before falling back to his elbows to watch. The ambient light from the open curtains seemed to reflect off the bright sheets, turning Jared's skin a shadowy gold.

"You're so fuckin' hot like that," Jen moaned. "Mouth full of my dick, suckin' it down like you're hungry for it..." Jared made an eager noise of agreement. "Now who's the slut, huh?" he asked, grabbing Jared by the thigh and shifting their bodies around until he could reach Jared's ass. He licked his thumb to moisten it and pressed it to Jared's hole - one slow circle was all Jared got before he pushed inside.

"Oh fuck," Jared panted, releasing Jensen's cock and resting his head on the thigh beneath him, while his hips jerked back into his lover's hand.

"Exactly." Jensen twisted around, fumbling for supplies while he kept teasing Jared's ass. "Gonna fuck you on these hideous yellow sheets, make you stain them with your come, wreck 'em so you have to buy new ones. Gonna make you ruin them," he promised.

"Give it your best shot," Jared challenged, groaning as he obligingly got into position on his knees. "Make me."

Jensen practically snarled as he lined up and pushed into Jared's body, not too hard but not giving him much time to adjust either. Jared didn't need it, judging by the way he pressed back, his body demanding more even though the sounds he made weren't words in any language Jensen knew. Jensen set a pace that was neither fast nor slow, but deep and hard instead, fucking so far into Jared's body that they both groaned with every thrust. He let his fingers dig into Jared's hips, losing himself to the pleasure until Jared began to make the strained noises that meant he needed more. Jensen obliged by wrapping one hand around Jared's throbbing cock, stroking in the same steady rhythm until Jared was covered in sweat, fingers twisting into the sheets, nearly begging.

Jensen clenched his hand hard around the base of Jared's dick, blocking off his impending orgasm and Jared wailed in frustration.

"Oh you fucker! C'mon, Jen," he gasped when he finally backed off from the edge enough to speak.

All he got in response was a chuckle, halfway between sexy and evil, as Jensen kept fucking him. One hand clenched around Jared's cock with a cruel grip as the other one pulled him back by the shoulder, riding him with a fierce desperation as Jensen finally lost control. Jared whined when he felt Jensen's hips jerk into him with short little stabs as he came.

"Please please please, Jen..."

Jensen bit down hard on Jared's shoulder, panting through his teeth as he yanked Jared upright. The hands clenched in the sheets failed to let go in time and there was a loud ripping sound as the fabric tore. Jared didn't even notice it though, because Jensen had relaxed his hand and started to jerk Jared's dick while he continued to thrust into his ass, nailing his prostate with every stroke until Jared threw his head back with a yell and came. He twitched and jerked, the orgasm lasting for-fucking-ever after being held back, until he finally collapsed face-first onto the bed.

The sound of harsh panting finally gave way to more even breathing. "I can't believe you fuckin' made me ruin the sheets," Jared mumbled.

Jensen's laughter woke the dogs.


	26. Z is for Zombies in Texas, from gigglingkat

"Fine, you win. Your parents were cool - you get to drive."

"Whoo!" Jared yelled, catching the keys Jensen tossed at him. "Only good part about my babies being back at home is that we can have one of these fine machines," he said, practically fondling the curves of the sleek sports car.

"You know," Jensen said almost an hour later, pulling a loose thread from the hole at the knee of his jeans, "I am perfectly fine with conceding that your parents are more awesome than mine. I like your folks. I don't think we need to tell mine."

"Don't pussy out on me, Jen."

"Come on; it's the holidays. I just want see everyone and relax, not have some big drama," he whined.

Jared glanced over at him. "You sure it's gonna be that bad? I mean, I know they're religious and all, but they love you. I think they'll be all right."

Jensen shrugged and was quiet for a while, the miles slipping away as they put San Antonio further behind them. "We're just not like your family," he finally said. Jared had a ton of responses to that but wisely held his tongue and let Jensen continue at his own speed. "We don't talk about stuff. Feelings. Relationships. Certainly not about sex."

"I wasn't planning on telling them how much I like to slide my dick inside you and fuck your sweet, tight hole," Jared pointed out.

"They don't even know I'm bi."

Jared glanced at him again. "They're your _family_ dude; do you really think they need it spelled out? _I_ knew."

Jensen threw his hands up in an exasperated gesture. "Well then I guess we won't have to tell them after all, right?"

Jared made a frustrated sound before getting absorbed by traffic as they neared Austin. They drove into the morning commute, finally slowing as they approached some road construction. "Whoa! Dude, look," he said, pointing and shaking Jensen out of his gloomy thoughts.

 _ZOMBIES IN AREA! RUN!_ flashed in red and black on the traffic warning signs.

"What the fuck..."

Jared laughed hysterically and reached forward to play with the radio to find a local news station. Jensen slapped his hand away. "I'll do it, idiot, before you kill us." He didn't find anything on the news channels, but it was pretty obvious that some kid must have reprogrammed the signs as a joke.

"That's pretty goddamned awesome," Jared grinned. "Can you imagine? Zombies in fucking Texas!"

Jensen shook his head. "Only you would find the idea of being eaten by animated corpses hilarious."

"Ass," Jared responded, taking one hand off the wheel to shove Jensen. "So, what's worse - telling your momma that you and I are shacked up as 'extra special friends' or her being eaten by zombies?"

There was a long pause. "I guess the zombies."

"You suck," Jared snorted.

"So says the cock-slut with the oral fixation," Jensen smirked.

"Fuck you. You love it."

"I do." There was a slight pause before Jensen reached over to put his hand on Jared's thigh. "I love _you_. I wouldn't even consider telling my folks if I didn't think this was gonna last."

Jared's grin was blinding. "Awww... You're such a sap."

Jensen crossed his arms and looked out the window, scowling.

"Hey," Jared said, waiting until Jensen relented and turned to look at him. "It would take zombies or something to get rid of me, you know. I'm not letting you go. Not ever."

"I'm not sure if that's sweet or terrifying," Jensen murmured.

"Both?"

Their laughter filled the rented sports car as it ate up the miles toward Dallas and the rest of their lives.

~end~


End file.
